Newsletter

A Gallimaufry of Topics

Teresa Van Santana

Feb 10, 2022 — 13 min read

So I’ve got this list, right? And I’m looking over all the topics I want to write about, AIS issues I could put together, and a couple important facts about my creative process spring to mind.

First is that I’ll always have a list like this and will forever be adding to it, yet also somehow believe I can one day clear it.

Second is the accompanying sentiment that I should wait to write about any, each, or all of them—you know, hold off—until I can give each their proper consideration.

But then another idea took over: Let’s just try and do them all at once and hopefully have an interesting collage at the end!

Here we go …

T’s Celebrity Crush Corner

The idea here was to, you know, gush (briefly, okay, briefly) over various people that are way too famous for me to ever meet and thus hold some kind of allure that would surely melt away if ever we were to really get to know each other. I think you get it, so let’s not and say we did, as was the phrase in 1987.

From Meta to Metta

My basic journey has been from dysfunctional self-absorption and rage to compassion and kindness, genuine concern for others. This is also the main character arc (insomuch as there is one) for Teresa Van Santana in the 32C Secret of Secrets novels. Like I was saying before, I wanted to give this topic better attention—and perhaps I will return to it—but the gist is moving from writing about the events of my life in a fictionalized way to trying to infuse the stories with a real kindness toward human suffering, both for the characters within the stories and for any potential reader who happens upon them. I’m happy to elaborate if you have specific questions.

T’s Secret Writing Coach

At this point it’s a bit of a known secret that I once hired a writing coach, and their identity shall remain secret. They’re perfectly lovely as a person, and from all accounts a very good coach. It wasn’t a great fit for me, which isn’t their fault, and they even cautioned me that the kind of work I was doing was outside of their norm. A few of their comments stung me, some even cut me. I guess it did make me a better writer, and I got what in my own humble opinion is a very good novel out of it (Love Is What You Have), written mostly in spiteful retort to the criticisms—but also trying to incorporate some of them. All that’s to say I can’t really recommend hiring a writing coach? But if you do, make sure itsa good fit. And remember: Everything is grist for the mill of art. You can just as well use a hurtful comment as a supportive one, and sometimes it’s more productive.

Who’s Afraid of ~~Virginia Woolf?~~ CANCELED!

If you’re on Ello at all, you’ve already heard this rant. But it always stuns me a bit when I hear folks talking about their fears of ‘getting canceled.’ It seems like wishful thinking that any of us should have a reach or audience that would make this fear in any way grounded or meaningful. I suppose there are a few folks I can think of whose livelihood was so precariously poised on a localized kind of celebrity that ‘canceling’ did effectively ruin them. But I dunno. Most folks who ‘get canceled’ seem too big to be substantially effected by it.

By the by, I’m of two minds on the whole phenomenon of ‘canceling.’ On the one hand, it can be an effective way of organizing (at least conceptually) workers and platformless folks for boycotts and protests. On the other, it’s basically just the Twitter version of the stocks, which again, isn’t really gonna work on most powerful people. Lemme know your thoughts if you want, or we can just move on with our lives.

The TVS Dialogue Clinic

I’m told that dialogue is my best literary feature. This is because I listen a lot. I hear the way people speak, watch how they move, and notice (after awhile) what they don’t say. It’s not mind-reading, but you get to where you more or less know what folks are likely to be thinking, maybe. If you do this, you will get better at writing dialogue. It sounds almost boneheaded it’s so simple, but it’s basically just writing the way people actually speak. Or, you know, how any given person could speak. And more importantly how they speak to each other.

Most people are either good at supporting a conversational partner or really kind of bad at it, so that’s a fairly good starting point. Folks love to tell stories and are often in no way efficient about it. That’s another. It’s rare for two people to be having a conversation for the first time, so there’s not a lot of filling in the blanks because they already know each other and who the people in their stories are. You may have to help the audience out every now and then and use some natural but conspicuous exposition there, like:

“Donnie did Sheila dirty.”

“Donnie that worked with us at Blockbuster?”

“No, Donnie that Amber did in the back of her dad’s Cadillac.”

“Oh. Wait, when did that happen?”

“When you were in Philly with Toni, and Erik and I went with them to the Potomac.”

Something like that.

Yeah, it’s expository, but people will positively hate you if you don’t let them in on who everyone is and what they’re talking about. (That may or may not be—but definitely is—one of the critiques I received from my secret writing coach.)

Another piece of advice: Don’t listen to dialogue in movies and tv. Well, yeah okay do, but as counterexamples. Most of that shit is so bad it makes me shake my head half a dozen times throughout the forty-three minutes or whatever.

I have these (probably annoying) things I do when I can’t stay silent.

One is to say to my wife or whoever is unlucky enough to be there with me, “Two fifty.” What does that mean? It’s shorthand for this idea I have that screenwriters only have two hundred and fifty lines that they sort of copy and paste from other screenplays. Particularly egregious offenders are:

“Someone is playing a game.”

“I’ve never seen anything like this.”

“You have no idea what they’re capable of.” This one upsets me so much I often say, “Capable of” instead of “two fifty.” It is my least favorite piece of writerly bullshit in the world.

And a close second: “Why are you telling me this?” Such a hack move to work out your character writing process on screen and make us watch it, as though anyone ever actually says that. The timing is always so stilted and convenient, as well. But anyway, anyway, I’m getting super negative now, so let’s move on!

I want to know you. And I want your books on my shelf.

Just what it says on the tin. And if you’re something other than a writer, I want your art whatever you make on my shelf. So say hi and let’s get to know each other! Tell me where I can buy your stuff! Cos I want it, and I want to know you.

Crossover with The Chilliad?

I would lurv to do a crossover with Molly Hall’s sub The Chilliad. Join me, won’t you, in beseeching her to make this dream a reality!

Nanofic

More on this in a bit, under “Teresa on Length.” But just the definition right quick—I understand nanofiction to be a story of exactly 55 words. I can’t attest to how I came to believe this, but it happened five or six years ago, and I know I did not make it up, someone else did. I have nanofiction prompts on Ello if e’er you wanna give ‘em a go.

An Exquisite Corpse

So we did a couple of these on Ello, but only one really took. I have no idea how it would work on this platform, but I may try to figure it out one day. That is all.

Q&A with The FLARE?

Join me, won’t you, in beseeching Chevanne to do a Q&A! Or I guess I can just ask you directly here, Chevanne: Wanna do a Q&A? We totally should, so say yes!

The Adventures in Secrecy with T Van Santana Writer Spotlight

I know you’re sick of hearing about Ello, but it’s my virtch neighborhood, okay? Anyway, over on Ellowrites, I did a series of writer spotlights, wherein we highlight the work of different authors and poets there. I’d like to do something like that here. Open to suggestions and requests!

The Complexities of a Fantasy Experience

Okay, what the hell did I mean by this one … Huh, I’m not sure, so let’s just improvise! I know for me fantasies are often detailed and complex, and people seem to like this in their fantasy fiction, as well; however, the emphasis in fantasy novels is almost always on world-building and magic and other shit I couldn’t care less about and could make do with a single sentence or two. Or, you know, what the kids now call deep lore, which has all that information, but it is spare, recessed, and spread out.

No, what I want more of is inner worlds, especially in a novel, right? I get it more in visual mediums because short of a voice-over, it’s hard to show a character’s interior life in a film. But that’s what prose is for! You can really get in there, and this is especially true within a fantasy the character is having. I know, I know, I’m blending senses of the word ‘fantasy,’ but they are kind of the same, really, much how a mundane novel (aka, ‘realistic’ or ‘literary’) is also a fantasy, albeit a rather boring one, almost like a fetishized vision of a ‘normal’ life, like normcore fic or something.

So let us in, okay? When writing a character, let us see some of their thinking and feeling, let us in on what they smell and what those scents trigger, on how their thoughts layer, and how they hide from themselves even when in their own fantasies. Pretty please, with a cherry on top.

What Makes Value?

So I’ve been over this a bit in an earlier ish, but to sum up and restate: nouns & actions are evaluated, then ‘valued.’ To a lot of folks, their intrinsic value is irrelevant: it’s only goodness is what it can do for them or make them feel or seem a certain way to others. So get at me about that.

Plus, there’s this whole phenom of making money by talking about how to make money, and it seems to be the best way to make money in writing. Or least there are a lot of folks trying very hard to convince us of this by both their thoughts and deeds. It doesn’t sit well, and isn’t something I really want to do. So get at me about that.

Teresa on Length

In American publishing, there’s all these arbitrary standards of what constitutes a form, length-wise. You’ve got novels and novellas, novelettes and short stories, and so on. The thing is, with digital publishing and manufacturing on demand, these forms are kind of irrelevant now. The only reason they seem to still exist is because of memory, right, like people keep them going like a meme. So if you’re working with a publisher or seeking an agent or whatever, I guess you have to have some idea about how to size your work. But with the art of composition, it seems to be more about feel. Like some works just feel more like a novel, and others like a very long short story, or a novella. So use those if they help you have a container for your writing, but also kina fuck it. Write to the length the piece wants and that feels good for you.

Oh yeah, and I’m supposed to somehow cleverly work this into an introduction for my new micronovels. I’ll send one out next time or the time after cos this shit has already gotten way longer than I expected, so.

Knowledge vs. Wisdom & Infusing Wisdom Into Fiction

This one is kind of similar to the whole Meta vs. Metta thing I mentioned before. Knowledge is just facts and details and that sort of thing. It’s cheap in the information overloaded culture we live in. Wisdom is a much rarer and often rarified thing to most people’s ears; but this isn’t real wisdom. Real wisdom is immediately useful and is of great value and concern to anyone who hears it. That’s a tall order, and one that’s especially difficult to work out in today’s YouTube cesspool of zenfluencers, but it’s there to be had. If you find some, work it in. It can be subtle. It can be thematic. You don’t have to hit us over the head with it, but don’t be afraid to once in awhile, either.

Clearing Debris

This ish kina turned out to be that, huh? Anyway, I was thinking more about how to clear and sort the mind through meditation than merely polishing off my Substack idea list.

It goes like this: Sit down. Get comfy and sit with a relatively straight back. Take a few deep breaths, in through the nose and out through the mouth. Close your eyes. Watch what happens. By ‘watch’ of course I actually mean ‘pay attention to’ because your eyes are closed. Now, if you’re working on proper meditation for cultivating happiness, wisdom, and compassion, there are a lot of ways to go here. But for working with fiction writing, just allow an idea to come into your mind. Could be one you’ve been working on, or a really old one you can’t get started, or something spontaneous. Then gently—rather gently, actually, like working with spun sugar or something—look more closely at it, spend more time with it. Let it develop. This will require very little storytelling effort; the work will be in not getting too controlling with it, and simply letting it unfold without losing attention. Try it! And then tell me what I got right or wrong in your case since, you know, it’s generic advice.

Teresa On the Art of the Salvage

Related: Waste not want not, right? There is no idea that cannot be used. So keep a list of your ideas, even the bad ones. Maybe especially the bad ones, at least until you get some confidence about your ability to make them workable. That is all.

Why I Detest Social Media and Refuse to Participate

Soooo this one is kind of self-explanatory, really, and I’m sure will cause most people who read it to roll their eyes, but. Essentially my hot take is that social media is advertising paired with the comments section—two of my least favorite things on the internet. There’s also this cultural submission that’s really crested into full-blown resignation that we all must use Twitter, FB, or Insta; or, at the very least, one of the three or you either “don’t exist” or are suss in some way. Sorry. No can do.

“But T,” you might ask, “what about Ello?” Wait, no one would ever ask that. Nvm.

On Writing Groups

I’m very lucky to have two great writing groups I’m a part of. One is RVA Speculative Fiction Writers, and the other is the Ellogonquin Round Table. Both are virtual now, so if you’re interested in joining either or both, let me know.

I say I’m lucky because writing groups can go to shit and become about the politics or clique-yness of member dynamics rather than, you know, writing and supporting each other. So while I do suggest you refrain from working in total solitude and that you build a support network for your art, keep a cautious eye out for the kind of shenanigans and prima donna-y bullshit that can pop off.

Fringe Review

Okay, so JJ annoys the shit outa me—especially as a writer—but I kina love this show. That’s not to say it isn’t flawed. It is, in some ways deeply. But the characters keep me hooked.

We watched it in its entirety back when it was on, but have just now gotten around to revisiting it. I will eventually gush about it in greater detail and will contain it to its own issue so you can just skip that one if you’re not interested.

If on the other hand you are interested, see also this interview with Blair Brown.

Cultural Amnes … Wait, What Were We Talking About?

One of the most startling pieces of social psychology is collective amnesia. It’s so bizarre. This happens in art, too, and I suspect I understand it a bit better there than in the general fund of cultural knowledge.

Art starts in an avant-garde or experimental kind of place, then gets refined, copied, and imitated in something like an interpretive period; then calcified into ‘standards’ or ‘conventions’ or whatever. And then all that creaks and cracks and breaks and here we go again. But once something has been effectively consolidated, it’s like everything that came before it kind of never existed. For examp, I love The Matrix and will suffer no unkind word about the Wachowskis! … but that first film is a lot of things pasted together? You’ve got Tron and Automan and Street Hawk even. Max Headroom. And those are only a few of the not super explicit references or inspirations, interpretations, whatever. The sibs themselves have named many, many more specifically.

Okay, you get this idea. I still have a few to get through and like five minutes left in which to do it.

The Last Days of Disco commentary review + classism and the unbearable coolness of being

I want to review the commentary track. Yeah, that’s weird, T. I know. But imma do it. Again, I’ll make it its own ish so you can ignore it if you don’t care about Whit Stillman or Chloë Sevigny or, you know, yuppies who’re way into disco.

Also, that movie is a mainline drug experience for classist NYC and the ‘effortless’ cool that only money can buy but people swear has nothing to do with it.

Absolver review

Both about the game itself and on being a 45 year old transperson out there playing a dying earth martial arts MMO. Tl;dr: it’s weird but also pretty neat.

Voice Lessons

I’ve been taking voice lessons and it’s difficult. There’s more, but that’s all for now.

Wanting to Be With and Wanting to Be Like or It’s Not Easy Being Bi

Although I'm sure this can happen to anyone, it can be a bit confusing trying to sort out an affection or admiration for someone. Do I want to be like them? Or be with them? I mean, I’m married and monogamous, so it’s not like a question of actually being with anyone. It’s a thought exercise to understand what I’m responding to and why. Have you tried it? Have you known this indignity? Let us know!

Aggy Married a Hedge Fund Manager

Agyness Deyn married a hedge fund guy. This is so depressing to me on so many levels that it’s hard to put into useful words, but the takeaway is don’t rely on celebrities for any portion of your self-concept, including what may seem like harmless inspo. Not a healthy practice, nor is it likely to be fruitful.